i heart these sesame street’s. uh gue punya boneka elmo merah mulutnya mangap yg skrg udah gatau lenyap kemana, tapi lucunya pol polaaaaaannn <3<3

God, i know that you will give me anything i want. you will give me not only tons of longchamps but also those fvckyeah giuseppe zanotti shoes. you will give me not only belitong’s trip but also singapore’s trip. you will give me not also acer but also macbook even it’s cicilan0%citibank. you will never let me down. you will never let me be alone. you will never give me a bad luck. you will lead my whole life. you will give bunch things that i will never expected.

God, you throw me on a 5stars plane. you send me to the most beautiful heaven. you safe my papamama ama om tante sodara sepupu temen temen and nyai to the highest land. you love me more than anything. you give me the right direction. you give me so much time for me to decide the right choice. you send me a big guardian who plays guitar easily like eating something. who studies like tomorrow is the national examination day. without cheating even one time.

God, i know… you know everything. i heard that like exactly i was thinking before. i know you will never send me the bad one. i know you really know everything. i beg you to listen carefully what he want to. it’s not me properly. i know that clearly.

hu uh sejak blog gue pamornya naik dan dibaca temen2 gue, gue jadi agak agak agak agak gimana gitu hahaha gak deeeeng. yok cerita yok. … (gue jadi lupa kan tadi mau cerita apa hehehe)

uh well. actually i wanna start abt what happened in last 30mins. hu uh both of my ears already fall down but he was enjoyed talking with i dont know who. it’s a crap? i dont know exactly. i dont really care and i dont wanna know with whom he was talking to. lalalalaaa lalalala lalalalalaaaaaaaaaa. lo pasti seneng ya ngobrolnya.

anyway. stop then. i dont want to ruin my nighty night tonight. grr. HAHAHA sekolah gue mengadakan pensi dan tebak sodara sodara setelah gue diajak jadi seksi dokumentasi (tepatnya gw yang mengajukan diri), trus di ajakin fashion show ala eighties pula.. dan kini diajak saman. booooook, hebring deh hahaha. but yeah so far still enjoying my schoolstuffs. so yeah, wallstreet pending dulu deh .. agak sakit hati jg ya gw sebenernya di repeat grrr.

oh ya. i already looked to my mom’s closet. and its full of baggy trousers, shouder pad blazer, POLKADOT (faaak), and those old things. mamaaaaaa. actually i want to looks like madonna but yeah gak ada madonna yang cina hahahaha duh binaaaaal. kata cellyn gayanya lady diana terlalu berat. jackie kennedy juga sama aja beratnya lbh berat dr selin UPS hahaha kidding darling hahaha.

ps : im going to sleep ya. those fuck mosquitos are killing me. craaap. anyway. im accepted as pembawa bendera konfigurasi pas opening ceremony pensi sekolaj gw. daaaaang. it’s hard. keep praying for me.

cyupsssooo everybody. im signing off <3

i know this is my thousand times writing so much thing abt love. yeaaah it’s no use. but again, it’s better making short post abt love than keeping them up on my deeepest heart. yeah? oke lah ya? oke.

i don’t know exactly my feeling. im not that mama lauren. i can’t describe my feeeling. it’s quite hard. but i know, when i was beside him, walking through people, sitting on la piazza steps, eating dairy queen or jcool together (then i know he ate more than his quotaaa), listening to his brother’s phone mp3 while waiting in 21cineplex without buying any tickets ; we just ngadem hahahah, .. i was enjoying every single minute.

i want to freeze the time, freeze all of my schedule, freeze the phone rings. i need more than 2hours to be with him. i know that i am very dangdut but yeaaah, i even didn’t know anything abt my feeling. let just the love flow by the time.

.. i can’t calculate your serious level.. also myself.

but when you already said those words, i know that we will walk together, eat together, and do anything scared together. it’s just about you, when you will said those words? sing your slickshoes song to me. with fucking funny stupido face.., stammer, and nervousness.

i will.

Im wordless. God just answered all of my prayers.

He quite know what i want. He know i want monster!

Monster made my day. He made my last day of October.

im speechless. can’t wait to see monster on monday. colek2 his tempting body (dia duluan nyolek2 gue mentang2 tau gue gak bisa dikelitikin malah ngelitikin gue kan kan brengseknya kan kan raksasanya keluar). adu panjang jambang. declare GO DIET (padahal makan masih maruk berdua hahaha). talk abt shoes, geometrical wave, material, design.

Let me feel yours. Let me have yours.

actually, i can’t describe this feeling. ya know.. love feeling is one of the hardest absurd fark feeling i’ve ever had. so maybe i could stand beside his big tempting body, maybe i could smile over his face, maybe i could be normal when he whispering me ” GO DIET ” closer to me .. maybe i could eat after dairy queen ichiban mie ayung etc, maybe i am jealous with you, maybe i want to be with you, maybe im exhausted with you fcking funny stupido face, maybe i could sing along with you with your punk-hardcore-idk music, maybe i could enjoy gading’s nighty view with you.. maybe you’re the one. that we always waiting for. meant to be?

man. beside that my fvcking effing love feeling, i just feel guilty.

every single minute i’ve done with you, every single cm you’ve closer to me, every single smile you’ve given to me… maybe it’s mean to be like that. i was addicted. but yeah, i felt guilty. gue tau harusnya bukan gue. yang ada disebelah lo, nabok2 tangan lo, ngobrolin semua hal.. harusnya itu dia yang harusnya disebelah lo, bukan gue.

sight. did you feel what i feel monster? im sick of you.

so yeah, actually im here to telling you abt my feeling. man, this is hurting me myself. bisa sakit jiwa gue kalo a month to go kayak gini terus. this is not because of that fvcking cuteeey monster. this is abt me myself. gawd. you know that one of my bf, ever had a love feeling with monster. and yeah, up until now, i dont really know abt her feeling. yes or no. i dont know exactly.

im not a perfect liar, i cant cover up my love feeling, my jealousy feeling, and those shit things. gara gara gue dikira mengidap super talkative, jadinya gue bener2 gak bisa diem. you know, kelas gue sm kelas nya dia itu bisa diliat lewat kaca. dan kalo tu orang udah nyelonong ke kelasnya tnp nyapa gue.. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

to be honest, gue gak punya banyak keberanian buat nanya ke my bf. oke mental gue emang cuppooouuuuuuu. i know thats all my fault. salah gue jg ngapain main2 bareng dia yagak ngapain bego begoan gelindingan sama monster. .. yeah i know that. .. sight. ..

im headache now.

okay then, sleep ya nighty folks.

ps : XL tuh kampretnya busuk. sms gue gk delivered ke monster

Looking into your eyes I see all I want to be
And I don’t want it to end
If I could only put into words the way I see you
I only know I have an angel with me now

And when I fall asleep your all that I see
You’re in my thoughts and all of my prayers
I wish I could mean all that you mean to me
My angel without wings (My angel)

I wish you could see all that you mean to me
But I could never find the words to tell you

That when I fall asleep you’re all that I see
You’re in my thoughts and all of my prayers
I wish I could mean all that you mean to me
And when I fall asleep your all that I see.
You’re in my thoughts and all of my prayers.
I wish I could mean all that you mean to me.
My angel without wings.

im dreaming like you will sing that song to me. with your lovely guitar. i know that your voice isn’t that the one you want to be…

you  change your fvcking silly face..                  into the serious face. that i know you love me.

you will. iya kan? MONSTER

ada cewek yang namanya jeni,
kesukaannya kok makan teri,
nilai sekolahnya… wow paling tinggi,
so pasti temannya pada ngiri

kok jeni lu pake kawat gigi,
udah gitu sekolah jalan kaki,
bilang mami, malah dicaci maki,
waktu minta izin ke party,

emang biasa dia, jalan sendiri,
walau kadang dia merasa so lonely,
tapi bukannya dia enggak punya nyali,
lalu dia bilang… ah gua kan nggak peduli

jeni… jeni… jeni anak mami
jeni… jeni… pake kawat gigi

sigh, nangis gue baca liriknya. najoooong nih apa apaan nama gue dibikin lagu gini :s

it’s all my fault. kiss her for your last time. hug her for your missing time. and keep her for your life. such a pain. i can’t be like this anymore. .. so this is life. when you love someone, keep it till your last breath, deep deep down in your heart, never let her go from your side. just keep it yours.

love failed. i did it.

its sucks. but still then. i heart you.

cupu <3